A couple of weeks ago I started praying to the Universe. The decision came organically as I got deeper into science and realized how truly immense the universe was, though I had known this for years already. It seemed natural to extend belief backwards from me personally to gods then outward towards infinity. I suppose that this being just about a week after having a clean break with someone had something to do with it. Interpersonal relationship issues with cosmic repercussions?
I decided to sign up for Match.com after reading some reviews and it seemed the middle of the road choice. I know I didn’t want to get into POF or OkCupid. I didn’t want anything free. I wanted to meet someone who at least had some income and commitment even if it was just to cough up a monthly fee.
At any rate, lying there in bed staring up into the darkness and feeling the universe above me I simply asked. I asked to meet someone who was the perfect woman for me and I for her. Perfect in every aspect. Of course doubt stepped in and said, Is that even possible? And another part said, “go big or go home” So why not ask for perfection? It seemed logical since risk and opportunity go hand in hand. Nothing ventured…
A few days later a friend posted she needed help and was seeking actors in a small film she was making. Laziness and inertia chimed up but then I remembered that night, alone with the universe, the multiverse. I said I’d help. I did the shoot and met some interesting people one who seemed a possibility.
Anxiety and possibility make terrible bed partners as I didn’t sleep much that Sunday evening. A week or so passed and my second rewrite of my profile focused heavily on my relationship with science fiction and showed a more introverted me. This I would realize later as being much closer and honest to who I really am.
I sent out a few email messages to some interesting people. One I’ve been exchanging emails with. She seems interesting and falls into that category of possibly perfect? Emails exchanged and eventually the initial momentum seemed to falter and now seems not much to say. Not sure what happened. Natural ebb and flow of conversation? Who knows, she’s not responded to the last email. She said she wanted honesty. Is it a case of careful what you ask for? Possible. Last night as I fell asleep, I asked the universe once again for the perfect woman and to give me signs. I woke this morning with Phil Collin’s “Can’t hurry love” playing in my head. I laughed and smiled at the sign. You can’t get more clear than that.
It is definitely a different way to look at life trying to live in the moment and wanting the future. And so I finish this writing with the Eagles playing “Take it easy.”