In the mystery novels I read the detective forces people to talk by using silence. Silence as an interrogator’s tool. When someone gets upset, they stop talking to you. Silence as a punishment.

Why do people feel the need to fill silence with words? With music? With any sound other than nothing? I remember a quote that went something like, “Words are when our brain speaks but silence is when our soul speaks.” Maybe that’s the reason people feel the need to fill the silence. They don’t want to listen to what their soul has to say.

Ever notice in a conversation you have a natural rhythm of talking back and forth and suddenly there’s nothing to say. Your mind is racing to think of something, anything to fill that silence. It’s different for introverts. It’s not that we don’t have anything to say. It’s that we have too much to say but our innate self-doubt rejects ideas as fast as they come especially in a pressure situation like a conversation with someone you are interested in. “Do you like bread?”

This I’ve read is why online dating is possibly better for introverts because email allows us time to gather our thoughts, revise, throw away, scream, pass out, eat cookies and then, only then reply to an email and spend the next 30 minutes regretting you sent an email because you’re sure that one misplaced word is the end of the conversation. Was I too honest? Was I too out there? Did I come across as a nutcase? No right? Of course not. OK maybe. Damn, I am a nutcase. Who would ever, in their right mind reply to that email? What? She replied.

What did she mean by that? Really?

S I L E N C E!

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