“I don’t know why I bother writing something you’re going to ignore” This often flashes across my mind writing first emails to a potential match. I’m sure everyone sending an email to a match has thought the same thing at one point or another and on occasions wanted to send this email. But we keep on keeping on.

It becomes a strange quest to find the perfect alchemy of words balanced by interest and humor to get them to respond. Then after your finely crafted email is sent it stays unread for weeks or is completely ignored. Frustrating. But we keep on keeping on.

In an earlier post I mentioned my social experiment when I created a dummy profile for a woman. Many of the emails I got were lame like, “Hey, you’re cute. Let’s chat.” Nothing to really get into or comment on. These are supposedly bad emails if what I’ve read is correct.

Is there a magical formula? Is there a perfect email? I’ve read several sites that say to comment on something in their profile and ask a question, creating an environment for opening a dialog. With all the ignored and unread email it’s no wonder people resort to, “Hey you’re cute.” It is apparently just as effective or ineffective as an intelligent email. So why bother?

Because, it’s not me. I’m not the, “Hey you’re cute” guy. I prefer quality over quantity. I have to ask myself the question, “Would I want to talk to the type of person who would answer to the, “Hey you’re cute,” email?

Some might say that no matter what you say, the person that’s meant to speak with you, will. I like that idea because it sort of takes chance out of the equation. Because, is not sending endless emails really more about chance? But I keep on keeping on. Sending emails. Finely crafted, individual emails.

It reminds me of a story of two people praying to win the lottery and when one wins the other asks, “Why did you let them win the lottery?” The answer came, “Because they bought a ticket.”


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