Meltdown, a word known to many introverts and certainly experienced by most. It is the culmination of external and internal forces triggering a system shutdown. People experience it differently and the symptoms vary.
Some folks just get quiet, some lash out, some storm off saying they need air. Each meltdown can be unique and different depending on the circumstances but they do happen. Me, I get as pissed as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
Case in Point
My mattress died. At first I did not realize this I just noticed that my back was in constant pain and throughout the day it would get better then worse again by the morning. This went on for weeks. Me thinking that my lack of walking, since walking helped plenty, was the root of the problem.
By week three, yes, I can be dense, the increased walking was doing well but still the back pain persisted. The lack of sleep and constant pain had made me pretty snippy by this point. However, I have, over the years, cultivated control over my emotional reactions, but this was wearing that control thin enough to be transparent.
My first inkling that something was very wrong was that old habit of cyclical thinking and phantom arguments. Like get a song stuck in my head, random thoughts would keep circling and bits and pieces of arguments would float and dip like strafing birds. I found myself getting angry at people for the slightest thing.
A Light Dawns
It was at this point that I had to find a solution. At some point in this experience I had wondered if it was the mattress dying so I put some cushions on the floor and slept on them. Sleep improved. Not by much but it did. Less pain too.
A New Mission
In my opinion and experience, introverts are at our worse when we feel disconnected and pointless. Adrift. But, give us a mission, a goal, something to sink our teeth into and we’re on our way to recovery.
The next day I went and spoke with several mattress dealers and laid on several, mattresses, not the dealers, and come to a decision of what I needed. A foam mattress.
That night, not having procured the mattress, I purchased an amount of foam and created a bed next to, well, the damned bed. I slept. No back pain. Little sore from sleeping on the ground but otherwise I slept. And onward we march.